Title: Say it with bullets
Fandom: X-Files
Disclaimer: All X-Files characters are copyright to their respective owners. Desdemona Leafe is mine.
Rating: unrated
Archive: Anywhere, just give credit where credit is due
Feedback: Yes, please! Send all comments to purenightshade@gmail.com
Summary: Made for the XFilesFic yahoo group’s Maximum Endearments Challenge. I put my own little twist on this theme to go with a side of Krycek that was really only displayed in two episodes. (Your challenge, guys, is to write a fic that uses as many endearments as you can in a single fic. I don't care if they're doing it cuz they are a smarmy couple in private, or they're the victims of the "Valentine witch". Whatever you can come up with...You know what I'm looking for...)


Part 02

Krycek woke the next morning with Desdemona curled up against him. It was pleasant, so even though it wasn’t his habit to, he lay in bed, waiting for her to wake up. I may as well get used to doing this, he thought to himself. Like she said, today is going to be a busy day. I’m not sure how easy it’s going to be to pretend to be Pyotr Ivanov, but with her acting her part, it might not be so bad. It certainly can’t be any harder than pretending to be the Syndicate’s lap dog.

Desdemona stirred and sat up sleepily, looking around her. Spotting Krycek, she nodded and got out of bed. “If it’s alright with you, I’m going to grab a quick shower.”

“You wake up quickly,” he observed, stretching.

“It’s necessary in my line of work.”

“Yes, I know. I haven’t slept deeply in more years that I can remember.”

“Doing so could get you killed,” she observed, going out into the hallway to get some clothes out of her suitcase. She came back in and laid them out on the bed. The outfit consisted of a pair of black cloth pants, a powder blue sleeveless mock turtleneck top and a pair of knee high socks. She eyed the selection with a critical eye and nodded, satisfied.

“Shouldn’t we plan our day out first?”

“If you prefer,” she conceded.

“I thought we could start with some breakfast,” he suggested. “There’s a nice place not to far from here. Conveniently, it’s located near some decent clothing stores, so we wouldn’t have to make too many trips. After that, we could do lunch and get our things packed before heading to the airport. Get there, check in, catch a light supper, and get on the plane. We’ll likely have to make at least one transfer mid way there.”

“That’s what the tickets say,” she told him matter-of-factly.

“Right. When we get to the airport, there’ll be a car waiting to take us to the resort. We check in and settle into our room.”

“That’s when the work really begins.”

“It’s going to be a little hard to get through the day without breaking out of character.”

“For you perhaps. Not for me.” She stood back and scrutinized him. “What, exactly are you planning to bring in the way of clothes?”

Krycek looked at her, startled. “To be honest, I don’t really have much.”

“I would seem, dorogaya Pyotr, that I’m not the only one doing some shopping today.”

He groaned. “Great. I hate shopping.”

Desdemona sat down on the bed beside him. “So do I. If you behave yourself, you can have a treat when we get back,” she said walking her fingers up his side and sliding them down his arm.”

“I don’t know. I may need some incentive to get out of her in the first place,” he said, reaching out to her.

She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “How does a gun muzzle pressed against your temple sound?”

Krycek’s blood ran cold in his veins. She pulled away and walked out of the bedroom. A short tine later, he could hear the water running. He sighed and sat up. That is one scary bitch of a woman.
 I’ve never met anyone who can turn it on and off like that. I can’t tell what’s real or not with her. This is going to be an interesting week.

Several hours later, Krycek and Desdemona were on an airplane winging their way to sunny California. Desdemona was asleep on his shoulder. At least, he thought she was. She was right. This was the longest day I can remember and it’s not even close to being over yet. The sooner we off that bastard, the better. This might seem like a vacation, but it’s not going to be unless we can finish early. I want nothing more than to finish early even if it means that Desdemona will most likely go back to wherever she lives and that will be the last I see of her. Is that necessarily a bad thing, though? It’s like she has a spilt personality. There’s the side I met last night in the car, the cold, unfeeling perfect assassin. And then there’s the side I saw today while we were out in public. This Kiska persona that she’s adopted is so incredibly sweet and sultry and so damned sexy I could have banged her over the breakfast table. That part, at least, is easy. All I need to do to be Pyotr is to say the things that I want, to react to Kiska. I only hope that there won’t be any trouble afterwards to separate ‘Pyotr Ivanov’ from Alex Krycek.

As for the ‘treat’ she promised me for having good behavior during our touting today… Krycek shifted uncomfortably. She can give me that kind of treat all she wants and you won’t get a word of complaint out of me. She can justify it all she wants. Telling me that it was just practice for this week, that to be effective at this mission we need to be a believable couple and that any pair of newlyweds move a certain way together out in public once they’ve slept together is all well and good, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that it was unbelievably good. Awkward at points, but she says that’s a good thing. We can’t be perfect from the get go on this. Imperfection is perfection.

Krycek shook his head. And I thought women were hard to understand before this. She doesn’t like anything, but she does have good taste in clothes. Half the things in my suitcase are things that I never would have bought if it had been left up to me, but she was so insistent on them that I couldn’t refuse. Granted, there are things that I insisted that she buy that she would never have bought. I look forward to seeing her in those things properly and not just trying them on in the store.

The plane began it’s decent to the halfway mark. They would be getting off here and transferring to a plane that would take them to California. Desdemona stirred and sat up as the change in altitude became noticeable. “Are we there yet?” she asked sleepily.

He knew that sleepiness was false, but played along. “It’s alright, milaya moya*. We’re just going to have to switch planes now,” he said, affecting the Russian accent they’d agreed to use earlier that day. He had to admit, she did the accent very well, sounding almost like a native speaker. Over supper, they’d used nothing but Russian to get into practice. (*My sweet)

“Ah. Very good.” She straightened up and stretched. “What I want to know, radost' moya*, is why we didn’t just charter a plane. I hate having to run across airports just to make the connection in time.”(*my joy)

Milaya Kiska, we’ve been over this many times now,” he said, rubbing her hand soothingly. “Much as I would love to accommodate you and charter a plane to take us to California, it would have cost nearly as much as the entire week. Would you rather have a private plane and have to go to an inferior resort or suffer a ride in first class and go to one of the most highly recommended resorts in the United States?”

Desdemona sighed, making a great show of it. “You are right of course, Pyotr. I’m being selfish.”

Krycek leaned forward and rubbed noses with her. They weren’t quite comfortable with kissing each other in public, or even in private for that matter, so they’d come up with this in the meantime. It was clearly affectionate, so no one should question them about it. “Ya ga-tov pa-da-rit' te-be ves' mir*, Kiska. You know this. Everything I have is yours.” (*I want to give you all of this world!)

“I know Pyotr, lyubimaya moya*,” she said, cupping his face in her hands. (*my love) “All that is mine is yours as well.”

The fasten seatbelt light came on and they didn’t say another word until they’d gotten on their next flight and the final leg of their journey to California began.

There was a car waiting for them when they got out of the airport in California to take them to the resort. They were informed that it would take two hours to get there and that they may want to use the facilities now just in case. Desdemona declined the offer, but bought a large bottle of water for the trip. Krycek grabbed a snack to take with them and they headed off. Halfway there, he fell asleep, waking when they arrived. They checked in and headed to their rooms.

The resort itself was undeniably the most beautiful place Krycek had ever been to. The walls were all pristine and white with the occasional soothing painting of a nature scene. The few people they came across in the hallways were young couples wearing very little in the way of clothing. To his surprise, a few couples even wandered around stark naked. None of this seemed to affect Desdemona at all. She was too busy draping herself all over Krycek, looking very much like she couldn’t wait to get to their room and do unspeakable things to her new ‘husband’. He had to admit that he couldn’t wait himself. This is where the fun really begins.

The valet leading them to their room opened the door and handed them a pair of key cards before leaving them to their own devices. As soon as the door closed behind Desdemona, the act faded and she was back to her normal self. Before Krycek could get a chance to be irritated by that, she took out the package the old men had given them and spread out the information about their target.

“Dimitri Baryshnikov, age 44,” she began. “He’s a suspected arms runner and dealer in illegal narcotics. His dealings with the Syndicate include procuring items for their attempts at making a human-alien hybrid as well as trying to make a vaccine in case the hybrid project fails. He’s threatening to expose them. Why, it’s not mentioned.”

“We have one week to kill him. It won’t be easy to find him in this place.”

“It’s much easier than you think, Comrade Krycek,” she told him. “You see, in addition to the other things on his rap sheet here, he’s also a notorious letch. I did some research on this place. He often hosts large pool parties at his private suite. Rumor has it that he drugs the drinks and food to make people pliable. He often winds up spending the night with no fewer than five of the newlywed women. Their husbands are so doped up from the food and drink that they don’t notice. The women that aren’t as doped up are frequently to embarrassed to say anything so no one is the wiser.”

“Clever. What do you plan on doing?”

“These parties are extremely exclusive and are by invitation only. “Over the next few days, we need to make ourselves as visible as possible to try and get invited legitimately. If we can’t do that, we’ll have to crash the party.”

“So why don’t we just crash it anyways?”

“He’s a paranoid fellow. He spends more money on security than he does on anything else. That suite isn’t big, but it’s nearly as impenetrable as Fort Knox. Better to get invited. It’s less messy that way.”

“That makes sense. So, when do we start?”

Desdemona yawned, putting the package back into the secret compartment in her suitcase. That same compartment had hid their guns as it was shielded from the x-ray machines. “First, I think we need to get some rest.”

“I don’t think so,” Krycek said, pulling her into his arms. “We need to maintain our personas, remember? What would you do if this was real?”

Desdemona looked up at him. “This would be why we were assigned to work together. I tend to focus on my mission before all else. You’re here to keep me focused on my disguise. Very well, then; I’ll follow your lead as far as this goes.”

“When it comes to the mission itself, you call the shots. Are we agreed?”


To seal the bargain, Krycek kissed her with all the passion of a newly married man and maneuvered her over to the massive feather bed, divesting her of her clothes as they went. Damn she has a good body, he thought before he became incapable of any further coherent thoughts.

The next morning, they got up and, after a small amount of urging from Krycek they had a quick morning fuck before getting up. Desdemona sat down on a stool and grabbed a hairbrush to untangle her hair. Krycek wasn’t brave enough yet to volunteer to do it for her, so he sat nearby and watched, feeling even more turned on than he had been before. She turned her head to watch him, a sly smile on her face. She turned away and posed to her advantage, slowly running the brush through her long black hair.

“Idi ko mne, moya milaya,*,” Krycek said hoarsely. (*Come to me my dear).

Desdemona got up slowly and sauntered over to his chair as slowly a she could, over exaggerating the swing of her hips. The curtains behind Krycek’s chair were wide open, but neither of them seemed to notice that at all. As she sat down in his lap, he said, “Vy ochen' krasivy*, Kiska.” (*You’re very beautiful)

“Spasiba, milaya moya* Pyotr,” she returned, pressing against his chest. (*Thank you, my sweet Pyotr)

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Without getting up, Desdemona invited whoever it was to come in. The valet from the day before walked in. Inwardly, Desdemona smiled, seeing how the front of the valet’s pants changed as he stared at them. She smiled seductively. “Can I help you?”

“I was sent to inform you that breakfast will be served on the main patio in half an hour,” he said, his eyes never leaving her chest. It wasn’t particularly well-endowed, but it was bare and there in front of his eyes.

She got up off Krycek’s lap and sauntered over to him, brushing her hair back so that it fell down her back instead of her front. “That was very nice of you to come and tell us,” she purred as she walked. The valet’s eyes grew wide and his spine stiffened.

“You haven’t been here long, have you?” she guessed. He shook his head. “I thought not. Otherwise, you would be accustomed to seeing things like this,” she said, cupping her hands around the sides of her breasts. She laughed softly at his facial expression and turned to look back at Krycek. “Pyotr, darling, would you mind terribly if I thanked our young valet?”

Krycek settled back into his chair. “Not at all, my precious darling. It’s still a half hour until breakfast. I don’t mind letting you have some fun before hand. Besides, you’re mine for the rest of our lives.”

Desdemona walked back over to kiss him soundly. “You’re so good to me,” she said before heading back to the stunned valet. “Come now, no need to by shy. I’m not going to hurt you.” She reached her hand down his pants to lightly wrap her hand around his erection. With it in her grip, she guided him over to the bed where she threw him down and, without undressing him, proceeded to straddled the young man’s groin, his stiff manhood right between her thighs. He groped at her breasts and she let him, letting him think that she was enjoying this.

It’s all for the mission, she said silently as she wiggled in place. The young man’s cries filled the room as he came to orgasm. A damp spot slowly grew over the front of his pants. He panted and looked up at her.

“You’d best go before someone wonders where you’ve been,” she suggested, standing. “Oh, and a change of pants might also be a good idea.”

He nodded, getting up. “I’m off duty soon anyways.”

“One more thing,” she said, walking towards the door. He followed and she pinned him to the wall, pressing her naked body against his. She could feel him getting hard again. That was quick. “Don’t tell anyone about this. Not a soul.”

He peered at her. “What’s in it for me if I don’t tell?”

“Well, that depends on what my husband is willing to give.” She turned to look at Krycek.

He got up, doing his best to ignore the throbbing of his own erection. Playing along, he said, “We’ll see about that when it gets closer to our time to leave. I may even let you really fuck her if you’re very, very good about this. I think I might also let you watch us if that’s your thing.”

“I’d rather watch two girls, but I’ll take what I can get,” he said eagerly. “I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

“Good boy,” Desdemona purred, grinding her thigh into his groin. “Now run along and change.”

When the boy was gone, Krycek collapsed back into his chair. “It’s mildly terrifying how good you are at this,” he said, patting the chair behind him.

She blinked at him. “Terrifying?” she asked in a hushed tone, sitting down.

“What possessed you to do that to him?”

“Regardless of what I said, he’s bound to tell everyone, brag about what we did. Of course, he’ll likely twist the story to make all of this seem like it was either his idea or yours. He’ll also likely change the story so that it was real sex and not the bump and grind that we did. I could have threatened to kill him and he’d still brag about it. Because we promised him a reward, he’ll be careful so that word doesn’t get back to us about it. Word will travel around, giving us a little bit of a reputation. Added to the things we’ll be doing out in public, it adds to our chances of being invited to one of Baryshnikov’s parties. If he thinks I’m an easy target, good. If he thinks that you’d be willing to let others bang your wife, even better. It all improves our chances of completing our objective.”

“Damn, you’re clever,” he whispered. “Now, would you mind doing something about this before we head out to breakfast? Nothing fancy. Just come sit in my lap again and I’ll do the rest. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

Inwardly, Desdemona sighed, but complied, figuring that it was better than arguing. Men sure seem to focus most of their energy on various forms of intercourse. Why is that? I don’t get it. Sure, it feels nice, but that’s not enough reason.

True to his promise, Krycek finished quickly. She smiled and got up to dress in a filmy robe that concealed very little of her body. It covered her from neck to toe, but you could still see her body through it. She didn’t like displaying herself like this, but it was necessary. He must have been close while I was toying with the valet. Ah well. Hopefully this means that he won’t be as demanding later. This is four times now, three since we got here.

Krycek dressed in a pair of short shorts and nothing else. They both slid some thin sandals onto their feet and went out for breakfast.