Title:Skyler Keatingís diary
Author/pseudonym: Nightshade
Author websites: http://www.angelfire.com/anime/makosmusings
Characters: Brennan, OFC
Pairing: Non-shipper, non-slash, involves an original character
Series/Sequel: Spoilers: no spoilers
Disclaimers: All Mutant X characters are copyright to their respective owners. Skyler Keating is my original character and should not be taken or used without my permission.
Summary: This is a side story based on characters from my other fanfic ĎA Matter of Honorí. Seeing Skyler again has brought up old memories for Brennan. This is based on the lyrics from the song ďPure SnowĒ by Sasaki Yuko. The song is in Japanese, so Iíll provide the translations in the fic itself just for the convenience of anyone reading this.
Send all comments to nightshade@catlover.com

Walking away from the safe house, Brennanís thoughts werenít entirely on the mission. Seeing Skyler again had been a bit of a shock to his system. He remembered her from high school as being a bit of a nerd. He only knew who he was because of a girl heíd been dating at the time by the name of Becky Dolan. Becky had been good friends with Skyler for reasons that were never fully explained to him. He took his seat in the Helix, shaking himself back to the present, telling himself that heíd think about that time when he was safely back in Sanctuary.

After he left, Skyler opened her computer journal. Using her powers was a much more efficient method than using a keyboard or doing a pen and paper journal.

Life isnít fair. I saw him today. I hadnít seen him since the eleventh grade and I never expected to see him again, not after what happened just before I moved. I remember him being the coolest guy in school even if he was the biggest bully Iíve ever met.
I remember that year quite well. My father had me transferred from the private school Iíd been attending because of an accident involving my mutation. He was an influential enough politician to keep it off my permanent record, but to keep me from being harassed he insisted on the transfer. It was February, so it was snowing quite heavily when I showed up for my fist day at my new school. I wasnít received well. The other kids instantly labeled me a nerd. I think it had something to do with my glasses and the way I was dressed. I saw no reason to dress in what the other kids classified as popular clothes.
My first class went ok, but when I got to the second class my life changed forever. Sitting in the back corner of the classroom was the hottest boy Iíd ever seen. His name was Brennan Mulwray and, as I said earlier, he was the coolest guy in school. After watching him for one class, I learned what he was like, but bully or not, I fell and I fell hard. My heart didnít listen to what my head was trying to tell it.
To this day, I still donít know what it is about the bad boy that attracts girls. Is it that attitude? The hair, perhaps? Or is it some primal urge deep within in the female psyche that compels us towards the toughest members of the male gender? Whatever the reason, Iíve yet to meet another woman that hasnít, at one time or another, fallen for the completely wrong man.
Iíd only been there a few days before one of the girls in my English class decided that I was her new friend. Her name was Becky Dolan. She was one of the so-called Ďiní crowd. She wasnít the most popular girl, but she had a certain amount of respect from those that were considered to be the top, the coolest of the cool. This gave me a certain amount of immunity from the school bullies, but not a complete immunity. Brennan, for instance, still liked to pick on me.
It was very strange, you know. There I was, quite in love with him and he loved nothing more than to torment me. I hated it, but as it was the only attention heíd ever give me, I eagerly looked forward to school, knowing full well that he would pick on me. I mean, really, how sick is that?
I passed my life this way for two months without any problems. Brennan had been in and out of school for two and a half weeks. I didnít know why at the time. When he came back to school, things were ok for a while, but one day he walked up and deliberately knocked my books out of my hands and took away my clarinet case. When I asked for it back, he held it up above his head where I couldnít reach it. He was a fair amount taller than me. I tried to get it back, but failed miserably. Oh, how I remember the humiliation of it. His friends all stood around and laughed.

She stopped for a moment, burying her face in her hands before continuing.

Iíd been about to give up when Becky put herself between me and him and gave him a scathing lecture about picking on people smaller and weaker than himself. She told him to return my clarinet and help me pick up my books. I had to pick up my own books, but he gave me my instrument back. He loudly declared that Becky was his knew girlfriend. This wasnít what you would call a hardship for her, but it was devastating to me.
It was funny, ironic even. Becky had been just as infatuated with him as Iíd been. Crushed, I did my best to avoid him, but if I wanted to spend time with her, I had to spend time with him as well. As a favor to her, he picked on me less. This was a mixed blessing. Less personal attention, but more peace of mind. Things became strained between me and Becky and we often fought about him.
One day, I went out shopping and saw Brennan through the crowd. He was pointing at a shirt through a shop window. He said to Becky that heíd never buy something like that as it was horribly out of style. After theyíd gone, I went up and looked at it. The style was unfashionable as near as I could tell, but the fabric and color was nice and would have suited him. On an impulse, I went in and bought it, telling the over curious cashier that it was a gift for my father.
I took it home and held it up to myself in my full length mirror. I felt like such an idiot. Iím still not sure why I did that. I was acting exactly like the kind of people Iíd loathed up until then: a love sick girl. This didnít stop me from putting the shirt around my pillow and lying down with my head on it. I cried that day with the hopelessness and futility of it all. Iíd tried, but how could I keep my friendship with Becky intact with Brennan standing in between us? I took out a picture of him that Iíd filched from her locker. The longing I felt as I stared at it was almost more that I could take.
Shortly after wards, my friendship with her did end. This was right before Brennan was arrested for stealing a car. From what I heard, it was some expensive sports car. He was sent to a juvenile detention center, effectively ending his relationship with Becky. I fought with her about the circumstances surrounding it and we havenít spoken or seen each other since then. My father won an election, so we had to move to another part of town. In the years that followed, I hadnít seen Brennan. Not until he walked into this safe house as a member of Mutant X.
That was the last thing Iíd ever expected. Every so often, Iíd hear something about this Mutant X and find something on him on the net only to have it vanish without a trace a few days later. I suppose it makes sense if the files were there to give him a cover for a mission. I donít know. I donít know if Iíll see him again after this. For my sake, I hope not.

Skyler got up from her computer to put a CD into her stereo and went over to her dresser. There in the top drawer was the shirt sheíd bought so many years ago. It was still in fairly good condition. Though it was much to big for her, she took off her tank top and out it on instead before hitting the play button.
The gentle sounds of a piano filled the room followed by harmonies played on the violin. As the song played, she sang along. This song expressed how she was feeling more any other.

Konna yuki ga mai oritekita machi de, toiki ga shiroku sora ni hodokete yuku
Anata no koto o omoeba doushite? konna ni mune ga atsuku naru

The snow dancing, falling in this city, I sighed at the white sky
Why my heart feels the warmness when I think about you

Ki ga tsuku to itsumo hitogomi no naka, youfuku uriba window no zokuto
Kawanainoni erandarishiteiru, anata ni niai soudanante

I had always watched you even in this crowd, looking at the clothes across the window
Though having no intention to buy, I think that cloth fits you well

Baka mitai dayo ne, ima wa hayaranai ne
Tomodachi no koibito to, [wakatte]te suki ni natte

I'm so foolish, the model is no longer popular
I understand that you are my friend's lover, but I can't help falling for you

Shou ga nai, warawaretemo ii, taisetsuna kimochi
Can't be helped, it is alright if you laugh at me, but this feeling is important for me

Pure Snow Pure Heart, futari deatta hi mo yuki ga futteita
Koi yori mo setsuna kute, ai yori mo uso no nai
Unmei o kanjita no

Pure Snow Pure Heart, snow also fell the day we met for the first time
It really hurts, the purest feeling of love
I can feel my destiny

Kanojo ga hanasu jimanbanashi o, odokenagara kiitari mo suru kedo
Yappari hitori ni naru to tsurai no, tomodachi no kamen ha omotai

Though it was a joke, but all she said was the pride of herself
It is painful being alone, but wearing this friendship mask is really tough

nande anata shika, dame nanda rou ne
Omou toki mechakucha ni, jibun o kowashitaku naru
Sonna toki sasaete kureru no, ichimai no shashin
Why it must be you, the one I can't reach
It tears me apart, breaks me into pieces just to think of you
During those time, a picture always strengthens me

Pure Snow Pure Heart, ano hi mou sukoshi no yuuki ga areba
Samui kisetsu no seito, tobikonde iketa hazu
Demo nazeka dekinakatta

Pure Snow Pure Heart, if only I got more courage that day
With the spririt of winter, I thought I could do it
But why I couldn't say it

Pure Snow Pure Heart, kitto naitari shita koto mo kuyamanai
Wakari kitta tsuyogari, kizuitekureru koto o
Itsumademo matteru

Pure Snow Pure Heart, I won't regret having to cry those times
Obviously I try to look strong, I will always wait
The day you'll understand me

Pure Snow Pure Heart, futari deatta hi mo yuki ga futteita
Koi yori mo setsunakute, ai yori mo uso no nai
Unmei o kanjita no

Pure Snow Pure Heart, snow also fell the day we met for the first time
It really hurts, the purest feeling of love
I can feel my destiny

She looked out the window and smiled. Funny. It was snowing outside. Shaking her head, she saved the journal entry and went back to trying to build the computer network.